How to get back to life?
Right now, I find even the smallest cognitive tasks incredibly challenging. Sometimes it feels like I can't even add two and two. Forgetting words and dates has become routine, and it seems as though my brain and psyche have regressed to the level of a six-year-old child just starting to develop learning and productivity skills.
What frightens me even more is the loss of my former passion for my profession. I no longer feel the urge to study SHRM, scour resources for cool life hacks and trends in L&D, leap out of bed at night to jot down brilliant ideas for learning programs or articles, or order the latest editions from Lars Schmidt or Josh Bersin on Amazon. I don’t feel the same drive to implement my learnings, share insights, or write posts.
Of course, I still do all of this — but now, I do it out of sheer willpower rather than love. And that frightens me the most, because my professional identity is such a significant part of who I am.
Yesterday, my company hosted a fantastic seminar led by Eugene Piletsky, a psychologist and psychotherapist trained by military psychologists from the Israel Defense Forces. The topic was “Techniques for Handling Crisis Situations: How to Sustain Yourself Today and in the Future.” I’m excited to share the key takeaways that were especially meaningful to me.
Three Zones of Stress Management.
🔴 Red Zone
Characterized by panic attacks and a loss of connection to reality.
What you can do for someone in this state:
Bring them back to reality. The most powerful tools here are auditory and visual contact: “I hear/see how much you’re struggling.”
Avoid saying “I understand,” as it often triggers irritation — you can’t possibly understand.
Help them orient themselves in space. “Where are you? Tell me what happened.” Then ask, “What are you planning to do now? And after that?”
Importantly, avoid asking “How do you feel?” or “What’s going on with you?”— these types of emotional probing should be avoided.
Action is key in stressful states.
🟡 Yellow Zone
This includes four symptoms:
1. Anxiety. A helpful metaphor here is a thermometer. Don’t aim for a perfect 36.6°C; that’s unrealistic in this context.
Just as a fever of 38°C is acceptable during COVID, some anxiety is normal right now. Keep it under control — aim for “below 40°C.” There’s no “ibuprofen” for anxiety; you can’t eliminate it entirely.
2. Guilt. This was a personal breakthrough for me, a moment of catharsis for which I’m deeply grateful to Eugene.
Under acute stress, guilt is a symptom — recognized by the World Health Organization (WHO). On a genetic level, guilt helps us survive by fostering unity and mutual support.
This acknowledge this brought me immense relief, similar to what I felt when we first crossed the Polish border.
Guilt usually manifests as two beliefs:
🟥 “I’m safe, but others aren’t.”
🟥 “I’m not doing enough.”
Eugene’s advice: Remind yourself that if you were not safe right now, it wouldn’t help anyone. Recognize that most people feel guilt under these circumstances — it’s a symptom of acute psycho-emotional stress.
Remember: You are doing what you can with the resources you have.
3. Anger and Aggression.
Identify your triggers. For example, social media posts from people who have relocated, showcasing their parks, cafés, and “perfect lives,” can often provoke frustration.
Solution: control the stimulus. Unfollow or mute those accounts — thankfully, it’s easy to do.
4. Depression. (Not to be confused with adjustment disorder.)
Activate yourself through action, even if it requires willpower.
Engage in simple, everyday tasks: wash the dishes, cook meals, brush your teeth, clean up.
Create your own personal marathon — take small steps to restore your usual routines, even if they feel daunting.
Example: Getting a manicure in a bomb shelter.
You may think, “How can I spend money on a manicure when it could go to support the armed forces?” But if it gives you strength and resilience, you must do it. Treat ordinary actions as medicine.
Do whatever helps you stay resilient — drink coffee, bake pies, play with your kids, exercise, visit cafés, write posts. If it helps, do it.
🟢 Green Zone
This is where self-care becomes paramount.
Key recommendations:
Physical activity, social interactions, and learning.
Even if studying feels hard, it helps your brain recover. This doesn’t mean studying for hours — learning a single word or reading one paragraph a day is enough to aid cognitive recovery.
Limit news consumption to 10 minutes per hour. News creates an illusion of control and fosters toxic dependency. Your reality is where you are—focus on that, even if it’s difficult.
Eugene’s response to my biggest concern, the loss of passion for my profession, brought me solace:
“Your passion will return. It’s just temporarily shrouded in fog.”
I’m holding onto that now.
April 8, 2022.