From Immigrant Mentality to a Growth Mindset. Part 3
Courage
“Stepping up to address difficult issues, saying what needs to be said”.
None of us can imagine that we will have to live through something we read about in books and see in so many movies. Humanity talks about it so much that it always seems like it will never happen again.
And of course, the last thing you think about is that it will happen to you...
War is a point where we had to show courage that we might not have even known we possessed. I would never wish anyone to go through this, but I can definitely say that after the full-scale invasion, I realised I was stronger than I thought. But this strength and courage are not about the qualities I possess, it is about the total absence of any other choice.
The competence of Courage ranks in the TOP-3 most important qualities, in my opinion, that are essential to develop if you are forced or planning to move to a new country.
Courage will certainly be necessary because the number of new challenges you will face is not something everyone can handle. Any immigrant can confirm this.
When we arrived in Canada, we had nothing but two suitcases with belongings and documents. The first year we used food banks to get some groceries for free, and all the furniture that is in our rented apartment today was second-hand and brought to us by Canadian volunteers - truly saintly people. Every time they brought an old sofa or dresser to our rented appartment, I almost cried with happiness because furnishing an empty apartment and creating comfortable living conditions for your family is not an easy task when you are de facto a refugee.
It took a lot of courage and resilience not to fall into despair over the fact that in my apartment in Kyiv, I have new furniture, a washing machine, a vacuum cleaner, and my new favourite white wooden desk, at which I dreamed of writing a book. No need to say I had my own apartment there while in Canada I have to pay rent that equals the cost of a Boeing wing. And I had to leave all my material, emotional and social achievements behind, making a choice without a choice - leaving my home to save my family.
Which I have never regretted.
Because...
You must never be fearful about what you are doing when it’s right.
Yes, of course, we all know and remember that the world is unstable. We are constantly reminded of this by articles from leading publications presenting models with funny acronyms - V.U.C.A., and then - B.A.N.I. All this is true.
However, no economic collapse or crisis can ever be compared to a war - when you just need to save your life and then adapt to a new country that, at first glance, doesn't seem to need you at all.
70%. Practical Learning.
Prepare for tough stands against the grain - whether it's a job search in a labour market where nobody knows you or helping your kids to socialise at school without knowing English. To be someone who can be relied upon, someone you can be sure will always have your back - that’s who you need to become in a new country. Taking a tough stand demands confidence in what you are saying and doing. Build your personal network of people who definitely can support you and who never put your strength and talents in a doubt. Ask them for advice, scope your situation, consider options, pick one and go with it until proven wrong.
Be consistent. Canada is a country of paperwork and bureaucracy - every step of a newcomer is scrutinised and controlled. So everything you do should be done perfectly whether it is your 1st TAX declaration or your new connections with a school board or neighbours. Be prepared to escalate the issue if necessary. Sometimes the gravity of the situation requires more drastic action.
Choose the right people. We often seek information on social media, but this can lead to many incorrect decisions and false data. Instead, rely on official websites and authorised experts for matters like immigration, permanent residency, taxes, etc. While having a large network of acquaintances with personal experiences is valuable, their advice may not always be applicable to your situation.
Start small. We often hear from our Canadian friends “One step at a time”. It’s true. You cannot have it all right away here. Only month by month and year by year can you achieve what you stand for. Even if it is from scratch or, quite often - starting with a huge minus.
20%. Social Learning.
Many Ukrainians engage in volunteer work after arriving in Canada. It’s one of the best ways to learn the nuances and pitfalls of immigration. Try participating in a volunteer project, and you will see and feel how important it is to help and support others in difficult times.
Gather a group of immigrants where you can share experiences and cases. In Halifax, I follow one of these groups in Telegram and often find good advice and recommendations there. However, we must remember that any unverified information should be checked against official sources.
10%. Formal Learning.
Movies:
The Covenant by G. Ritchie.
Triage. 2009.
One Life. 2023.
East/West. 1999.
The Secret Life of Words. 2005.
The Pianist. 2002.
Books:
Hidden Potential. A. Grant.
12 Rules for Life. Jordan Peterson.
The Talent Code. D. Coyle
Can't Hurt Me: Master Your Mind and Defy the Odds. D. Goggins
July 7, 2024.