Trainer in Black
Fail #2
On Coffee Breaks
A filter of sarcasm is mandatory when reading below.
The coach has just wrapped up a training program, takes a deep breath, quietly sits on one of the participants' chair, and, with trembling hands, picks up the feedback forms to begin reading...At that moment, their entire life flashes before their eyes, the end of which is envisioned as a luxurious marble gravestone engraved with golden letters reading “Best Coach EVER.”
This inscription, of course, is the logical summary of a thousand glowing reviews from grateful — no, devoted — participants. By the way, here are a few examples (so you’ll know exactly what kind of reviews to write):
“My life has completely changed.”
“Thanks to you, I now know how to move forward.”
“I experienced a catharsis comparable only to the birth of my first child.”
“Every other training I’ve attended is a pale imitation of what I just experienced.”
“I’ll tell my husband today how amazing our training was!”
Every coach secretly wishes that all feedback will be so sweet, while birds outside serenade you with something like "You’re simply the best!"
So, the coach, wiping away tears of joy, holds the last feedback form, preparing for the final round of praise. But then, something goes terribly wrong...
After reading this last one, all the previous ones immediately lose their meaning, power, and significance. The form with this review stays in the trainer's heart for life. And, if you want your review to be memorable — along with your name, city of residence, and the outfit you wore — then write the following:
"The coffee break was the highlight of the program. Thank you — the pastries were delicious.”
So, here’s a fail about the importance of the coffee break during a training session.
Fail #2.
Suggested Bringing Food to the Training Space.
When a session is going especially well, the trainer always runs the risk of relaxing and letting down their guard when it comes to behavior norms. I had a tragicomic situation once.
The coffee break was ending, and everyone needed to return to their seats. The first part had gone well, and I felt the group’s engagement and support on the topic and tools. It was time to continue, so I invited the participants to sit down.
Then, into my mind, there flew the evil Dementor, lulling my consciousness with the phrase:
"Let’s make it even more comfortable for the group to think and reflect."
Hypnotized, I blurted out:
"Please bring your snacks and coffee back with you. It will be more pleasant to discuss."
Not giving much thought to the reactions of "Wow!" "Cool!" and "Awesome," I turned to the flipchart and prepared to draw strategies for handling conflict situations.
But when every single participant began loudly crunching apples, unwrapping candy, slurping coffee, and paper napkins and crumbs scattered under chairs, and the scent of sausage filled the air, I realized the result of my thoughtless suggestion...
Trying to discuss deep topics amid synchronized chomping and other strange sounds? Not everyone will manage... and frankly, it’s not worth it.
What did I do? I began mumbling something about:"Oh, I didn’t mean it literally!""Oops… let’s not chew right now…"And other awkward phrases.
The disappointment on the participants' faces matched the beauty of a statue falling from its pedestal because, “But… you said we could… you told us to…”“Wow, this trainer is a weird, indecisive woman…”
The program didn’t end badly, but the feeling of awkwardness, the embarrassment, and the dominant emotion of "WTF coffee break, I didn’t expect you to backstab me" lingered.
Tip #2.
To avoid uncomfortable situations during a training session, it's best not to mix kittens with scrambled eggs, nor learning with eating.
So, let participants snack during designated break times, preferably outside the training room.